All lawyers are perverts.

As you may or may not know, I am mar­ried to a lawyer. That’s right — my lovely D is a lawyer. And a com­plete and total per­vert. Not that that’s nec­es­sar­ily a bad thing. But when you, as I do, work with lawyers and hang out with lawyers, well, oh my good­ness they are perverts!

I love my new job — work­ing in a law office is a dream come true for me, and my boss is a roly poly fun lit­tle man who is also an incred­i­ble per­vert. It’s ironic in a way. I finally have a job where I could not only prob­a­bly tell my boss that I’m a sex blog­ger, but he would be totally cool with it and prob­a­bly enthralled with it! In my ini­tial inter­view, I laughed at his porn joke and he told me that was a giant plus in my favor. He’s just that kind of guy, always chas­ing skirts and talk­ing about our lat­est “hot­tie” client.

He comes in one day, walks up to my desk, and flips open his cell phone. A few moments later, it starts play­ing the most hilar­i­ous mes­sage. Think phone sex line mixed with Moviephone! You know the kind of stuff — “press one if you want me to suck your balls” and “I’m pretty sure you said fuck me in the ass­hole”. I was just com­pletely crack­ing up — in fact, I’m pissed that I still can’t receive mul­ti­me­dia texts on my iPhone, cuz I totally wanted him to send it to me! (I should prob­a­bly look it up on the inter­net or some­thing.) I love being able to be myself, even at work. It’s just weird because dur­ing these ini­tial months on the job, I’m try­ing to show what a tire­less and effi­cient worker I can be, and that means the long hours on the job leave me with lit­tle energy for my blog at the end of the day.

But my job pro­vides so much excel­lent blog fod­der. A drive to the cour­t­house to file some paper­work almost guar­an­tees that I’ll run into a flock of lech­er­ous lawyers, all eager to stare down my ample cleav­age and look up the long lengths of my legs. Lawyers love fresh meat, and there are few things bet­ter than a new sec­re­tary! And that’s just the tip of the moun­tain! So remem­ber, lawyers are def­i­nitely per­verts. But…that’s not always a bad thing!