Vulnerable HNT

As of this week, I’ve lost 30lbs — which seemed like a lot to me. I thought that maybe, with all that weight gone, I’d feel com­fort­able fully nude in front of the cam­era. As it turns out, 30lbs really isn’t that much, not when you still have 70lbs to go. But I’m tak­ing a deep breath and post­ing these just the same.

These are, by far, my most vul­ner­a­ble HNT. Our most vul­ner­a­ble HNT. No pho­to­shop­ping, no air­brush­ing, just me and D enjoy­ing each oth­ers bod­ies in the ways we love best and cap­tur­ing those moments on film to share with you.

Though no faces show, just our bod­ies, I feel more naked in front of all of you than I ever have before. I’m dis­ap­pointed with myself, today, for not look­ing bet­ter, for not being able to love myself for what I am right now, for mak­ing D think that tak­ing pics was a bad idea. But, for good or bad, this is me, this is us — fully unveiled.

And while I know I’m always more crit­i­cal of myself than I ever have been of oth­ers, I hope that those oth­ers will be kind and sup­port­ive. To me, these pic­tures are a major blow to my ego, to my progress, to my men­tal image of what I thought I was and what I wanted to be. Post­ing these pics…I guess it’s part of try­ing to accept me for what­ever I am, no mat­ter how hard it is.

Happy HNT! And don’t for­get to  stop by Os’s and check out the other HNTs!