Sex and Intimacy Project — Part 4

Image by Flickr user, flounder_whistl, used under the Cre­ative Com­mons license.

This set of answers comes from Tutivil­lus from DungeonPlace.com. A 38-year-old male engaged and in an open rela­tion­ship, he iden­ti­fies as a bisex­ual dom.

Inti­macy is the shar­ing and con­nect­ing on phys­i­cal, emo­tional, men­tal and sex­ual lev­els between two indi­vid­u­als. To me inti­macy is more com­mon in peo­ple build­ing or in an estab­lished rela­tion­ship. Occa­sion­ally, how­ever, it fires off randomly.

Nope. Some­times a fuck is just a fuck — good fun, but not inti­mate. I learned this through my var­i­ous encoun­ters in open relationships.

I feel very inti­mate with my part­ner when sexual/intimate con­tact involves the con­nec­tion between us.

I do not feel inti­mate (some­times with my part­ner) when sex is some­thing other than a con­nec­tion. This is good! But I do crave inti­macy from time to time.

When is sex intimate?

The con­nec­tion is what makes sex inti­mate for me. Falling inside some­one and los­ing your self in the act.

No. I don’t really find one act more inti­mate than another…context is key.

With part­ners I have an emo­tional attach­ment, yes, sex can be quite inti­mate. With play part­ners, not so much.

It doesn’t mat­ter if there are mul­ti­ple part­ners or not actu­ally. If there’s a con­nec­tion, there can be inti­macy between me and oth­ers dur­ing sex. It doesn’t always have to be a uni­ver­sal feel­ing between partners.

Some­times. If you find that per­son that clicks your lock? Yes, sex between strangers can build inti­macy or cre­ate it.

I avoid it. I build rela­tion­ships online, yes. But vir­tual sex is not some­thing in which I engage.

My part­ner and I have a var­ied sex life. Our rela­tion­ship is open, and hon­esty is key. We have a some­what vanilla sex life when we’re alone, with peri­ods of intense kink. At this time we’ve moved into open­ing our rela­tion­ship to BDSM play with others…usually submissives.

Inter­ested in find­ing out more? Details and the other inter­views can be found here.